This is the third entry in a 3-part series about Stress, COVID, and Krav Maga. The first article discusses why the concept of stress training is a helpful lens through which to look at our current struggles. The second relates some examples of how this might play out, both helpful and otherwise. Below are some helpful practices to maximize your stress management abilities.
Handling stress is a skill. While some of us seem naturally better- attuned to managing stress than others, everyone can improve our their stress management game. Rather than trying to make it through frustrating, annoying, or worrisome encounters, training ourselves to navigate these situations tends to lead to a much better result.
So why is a self-defense instructor talking about managing stress? It is because situational awareness, physical safety, mental health, and skillfulness at handling stress all intersect during this time. Your calmest, most clear-headed approach will also be your most situationally aware, which will also be your most- prepared- for positive action should a threat arise. Many people unknowingly and mistakenly believe that worrying about a threat is the same as preparing for it. Neurologically, they’re rooted in the same impulse – to stay safe. But they often have conflicting results; worrying about something can make you less prepared to face a threat, because it inhibits decisive action and often gets us focusing on the wrong thing. Conversely, detached preparation leads to fewer unknowns, and thus lowers the potential for uncertainty and worry.
Whereas a multitude of other resources discuss how to stay sane at home, the list below focuses on practical stress management steps you can take when leaving the house.
What can you do when you must leave the house for essential trips?
Pre-trip:
- Schedule twice as much time as you would normally need under non-pandemic circumstances. If you are pressed for time, you’ll automatically increase your stress level.
- Call ahead and check websites for- store hours, services offered, and other vital information prior to leaving.
- If you’re going somewhere unfamiliar, use Google Maps Streetview to get visually oriented with the parking lot, building, and surrounding landmarks.
- Make a list of items you need, and stick to the list.
- Check your stress level prior to leaving the house. If you can, get to a quiet place and take 3 deep breaths. Close your eyes. Visualize yourself walking into the store. See the other folks moving with anxious energy. Decide not to absorb their unchecked stress. Imagine where the sanitizing stations are. Decide beforehand how you will be patient with others. Rehearse what you’ll say to someone not practicing social distancing. Let none of your moves be impulsive or reactionary – let them all be conducted with thoughtful intent and calm precision.
- If you have a calming practice, be it meditation, prayer, yoga, grounding, recalling a calming memory, repeating a calming word or phrase, or anything else, use this prior to leaving. Get ahead of the stress by proactively cultivating focused stillness. If you need help, try an app such as Calm or Pause.
Mid-trip:
- Park further away than you normally would. This will give you a few moments during the approaching walk to perform light physical activity, create space/time to assess your surroundings, acclimate to the environment, and breathe.
- Even while wearing a mask, breathe slowly, deeply, and intentionally. This is used by survivors of trauma, military personnel in combat, and Olympic athletes during competition. Who are we to pass up the opportunity to breathe?
- Make eye contact. Even if others’ cannot see your facial expression, it will have a positive impact on your awareness, your mood, and your stress level.
- With each trip, purchase one small luxury item. A piece of candy, an upgraded cut of meat, or even a “thank-you” greeting card to give to someone else. If you’re struggling to maintain nutritional discipline during quarantine, choose a non-food item which that will further your long-term goals.
- Set physical boundaries when necessary. It is perfectly acceptable to tell people to back up and give you space. Do this sooner, when stress is lower, instead of waiting until you have no other choice.
- Check your posture. Stand up straight and walk with intent, with your shoulders back and your chest out. Adopting a posture of calm confidence is scientifically proven to increase feelings of calm confidence.
- If you feel irritation towards others, acknowledge their humanity by acknowledging their potential fear. That doesn’t excuse inappropriate or rude behavior, but it is easier to be patient with someone who may be preoccupied with worries of a sick relative, a lost job, or a mental health concern.
- Ask employees how they are doing, wish people a great day, use people’s names when you can, and practice exceptional manners.
Post Trip:
- Resist the urge to jump into the next activity, task, or demand.
- Take 10 minutes to do nothing except stare at the wall and breathe.
- If your house is not quiet, do this in the car, on the porch, or somewhere that is quiet. Right after a stressful outing would be a perfect time for a 15 minute walk.
- Perform a quick AAR (after-action report). What went well? What went not-so-well? What could you do differently next time?
This is not an exhaustive roadmap or a whip with which to judge yourself. Handling stress well is a lifelong skill. If all this seems daunting, pick three practices from above, and incrementally train yourself to engage. Disengage any harsh self-criticism as best you can. No one has the instruction manual for these times. After selecting and executing on a few of these practices, think about what made a positive impact, and repeat those things. Just like our combatives in Krav Maga training, you don’t need to be equally proficient at every strike (in fact, no one ever is). Lean into the ones that are effective for you, and ignore the ones don’t provide a payoff.
